Green Tara, Details & Connections...

~ ~ Om tare tuttare ture svaha::: 

 I prostrate to the Liberator, Mother of all the Victorious Ones.~ ~

~ GreenT: The Buddha of Enlightened Activity

~ Tara=Known as the Mother of Liberation,
came into existence from a single tear of Chenrezig (Tibetan) / Avalokitesvara.

~ (m, Sanskrit) Avlokitesvara = Guanyin (f, Chinese) = Chenrezig (Tibetan) Universal manifestation of Compassion

~ Tibetan form of Parvati, consort of Shiva, Hindu goddess of Love, Fertility & Devotion. 

Mother of Ganesh. Yoni. The recreative energy & power (shakti) of Shiva.

~ Shakti is pure energy, untamed, unchecked and chaotic.

01.24.15.... My Truth...

The Woman in Me (Needs the Man in You)
Song by Shania Twain

Lyrics:

I'm not always strong
And sometimes I'm even wrong
But I win when I choose
And I can't stand to lose

But I can't always be
The rock that you see
When the nights get too long
And I just can't go on

The woman in me
Needs you to be
The man in my arms
To hold tenderly

Cause I'm a woman in love
And it's you I run to
Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you

When the world wants too much
And it feels cold and out of touch
It's a beautiful place
When you kiss my face

The woman in me
Needs you to be
The man in my arms
To hold tenderly

Cause I'm a woman in love
And it's you I run to
Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you

Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you
I need you baby
Yeah yeah Oh baby...

4th Agreement Promise...

12.04 & 13.14...The Difference, pt 2...

Now that I don't take things so personally anymore, I can accept, albeit begrudgingly, that when people make things more difficult than they have to to be with me, it's clearly not about me, but about their perception of the situation. I self-check enough to know when the issue is clearly mine... I'm not taking on someone else's crap if they don't wish to deal with their own... especially if they refuse to see it. Not my job... not my flying monkeys. ;-)

I am clear enough & decent enough & direct enough & patient enough that if you cannot figure out how to communicate properly with me, just go or stay away. I am not a difficult person to know or care for... and I cannot help what I may stir up in you. I'm willing to help, but you have to be willing to deal with it. Most people who show up are not. I know what my crap looks like & I have worked too long & too hard on myself every damned day to have anyone FUCK that all up.

 I deal with my shit... deal with yours.

Love to Love You, Baby...

11.23.14.... Want, Need, Desire...

Want & Need come from lack; Desire comes from believing one is deserving of it. Two negatives versus one really big positive.

Need,
at its worst=Desperation

Want,
at its worst=Greed

Desire,
even at its strongest=Intense Wishing 

11.28.14... Someday...

Someone will know what they do want & act like they deserve me... someone will love me the way I wish to be & know how to love... until that day comes, I must hold on to hope & just keep being me, especially in those dark lonely moments. :-) Quality time is important... and I'm not getting that from anyone. I deserve that for all I give.

11.30.14...Appreciate the Silence...
Not too bad today.
Detachment feeling pretty good right about now.

Relationship FYI...

12.06 & 13.14...

Too many people who show up then leave (or create holding patterns) have this ignorant notion that relationships are supposed to be self-sustaining entities, and if you have the nerve to ask for something, there something wrong with you or you want too much or you're the one with issues.... they don't get that sustaining a connection is important to the growth of the relationship. 

We don't have to talk every day, but we have to connect on some level to grow together... and for that to happen, you have to allow me access to your inner being. Staying closed off gets you nowhere but misunderstood, at arms length, nothing but surface level drivel. That's not what a relationship with me ever is... friendship or otherwise.

Those people in our lives where it looks like we are doing nothing, we've already created such a deep connection that we just have to think of each other & we're there, at all times. I know what you think & feel because you shared it with me. I can respect your boundaries because I don't want to harm you. I can offer you what you need, want, desire because you let me clearly see you.

Life, in its many views...

12.21.14... Solstice Searching...

I have never been someone who rejects, but accepts. When I let you in it is because I am ready for the experience; there are no accidents of fate for me, only multitudinous experiences. You are not just "something to do until better comes along", you matter here & now, or I wouldn't have bothered. I want the opportunity to show you why & how you matter, and if you cannot get that, then you don't deserve what I have & want to offer... but only because you don't think so... those words will never cross my lips. 

Falling in love with someone is just accepting that they could be more than what they already are to you... your love for them grows exponentially & infinitely. Your level of intimacy changes. If you are long time friends, you finally allow yourself to see & desire the man or woman that has always been there, at your side.

I have always been hungry, hit the ground running, open to anything... but it has always seems denied to me, solely on the other's minimal action / non-action. Hard to move forward with someone who won't, to do more with someone doing just enough, to be yourself with someone afraid of their own shadow. I've met them all... and come close to loving a few.

I just rolled out of bed with a resolution to be fulfilled...to never care again if I'm ever with someone again... not a melancholy thought, but a practical one... if I can't have things the way I want them, then I don't want a meager substitute... and that's for me to decide what that is or isn't. I'm not giving up on what I want, just remembering to take a quiet step back from constant thought on the subject, so it has time to grow into what I desire, because my best experiences always happen when I least expect them, and always because I put the energy / thought / seed out there & just leave it be, focusing elsewhere until the time is right for its fruition. I need to give it time & space to "just happen"... because constant thought about it is like pressing the reset button, over & over & over again. I know what I want & need & desire... and when the timing is right, it will happen... because it always does. :-)

I have no idea what's coming in this new year... but I am ready for it. That, regardless of all my road twists & turns, has always been my constant.