"The wind blows whichever way it chooses, and we can either go with the flow, or against it . . . always our choice."
Two acquaintances came into my life recently. One was a pleasant blast from my past, while the other was a refreshing invite into my present. Both I had hoped would stick around for a while. As months went by and I continued to enjoy their company, one of them instantly dropped off the grid as I tried to get closer (my past acquaintance opened the communication first) . . . and the other just got lazy with contact, no matter what I did, so I eventually did what came naturally to me . . . I pulled back & tried to figure out what happened.
I'm not a chaser; regardless of my relationship with you, friend or otherwise, you don't want to talk to me, interact with me, after a reasonable amount of time trying to get answers, I leave you where you are until you figure it out. I don't yell, I don't scream, I don't nag. I just leave. However, that doesn't mean I don't feel hurt or frustrated by inconsideration and insensitivity. When you choose to invite people into your life, you invite curiosity and questions. If you didn't really want to let them in, you shouldn't have opened the damned door . . . or walked out without saying a word.
In the past, actions like that would always rattle me for quite a while . . . but I noticed with these two, something changed. My way of dealing with that type of frustration had matured and leveled off; death and illness has a unique way of making you re-evaluate things . . . and after the past year of both, some things just don't really matter as much anymore. You remember time is precious and what you choose to do with it is what matters most. A friend's mother once told me, "You have every right to be mad, hurt, irritated, pissed off when someone does something to you, but they don't deserve any more than 24 hours. After a day, you are just wasting time on them and they don't deserve anymore of your energy than that." Staying irritated solves nothing.
I also realized that they are not worth my frustration if they choose not to "play" with me.
They do not have to accept what I am willing to give; I just have to remember to give it all back to me whenever they disappear.
More for me . . . I may be ready for intimacy, but it doesn't always mean they are. Their disappearance proves that immaturity.
Let it go when it leaves . . . so the space opens once again for the right one.
Go back to what you were doing before they showed up; it was probably all about you or friends or family or what moves you . . . switch the flow of feeling and attention back to who deserves it and can appreciate it most.
If they are meant to be there for the long haul, they will be back, hopefully better than you last saw them. And if they are not, their leaving when they did was a blessing . . . less drama for you to bounce back from. Win-win situation from my point of view.
