My Way ....

Just because I don't demand things, doesn't mean I'm disinterested, it just means:

~I'm not a drama queen, I'm a dragon. Don't fuck around with my feelings, and I won't scorch you...

~I'm sensitive, not psychic. I expect you to open your mouth if there is a problem.

~I am simple as well as complex. I need a answer if I ask any question, for my peace of mind... that's it. No mind game. If you try to dodge me, you just give me a reason not to trust you & eventually drop you from my life... because apparently I'm not important enough for you to just be clear with me and maintaining your ego is clearly more important than maintaining us.

~Communication is important. If you can't figure out how, leave me alone. If you try, I'm always willing. You get major points for effort. No one is perfect.

~I'm childlike, not childish. There is a difference.

~~

I believe in both . . .

Words & actions when they match. :o)

If you know someone well enough, some things don't need to be said --- they are silently understood . . . but that doesn't mean that once in a while, you shouldn't say them anyway. We are human, and sometimes doubts, usually surrounding ourselves, creep in & stay for a while. The words of reinforcement, help shoo those doubts away.

Also, most of us are not mindreaders . . . and if you are not in front of someone enough that they can read your body language as well as actions towards them, sometimes the questions need to be asked --- not because you are not trusted, but because the other is feeling scared, troubled, and sometimes, defeated. Sometimes a loved one's words make the difference between giving up & moving forward.

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04.15.14 --- Fractures, Breaks & Communication Meltdowns ...

04.15.14 --- Fractures, Breaks & Communication Meltdowns ...

We currently live in a world where the art of communication is
faltering, fading . . . and the easy & practically limitless
technological effort to keep in contact, neglected, in spite of
itself. I've taken up blogging lately, because no one talks anymore
... and I am in need of an outlet.

I consider myself an introverted extrovert, as well as an optimistic
realist ... quiet & calm on the outside, ball of energy waiting to be
released on the inside; happy & hopeful yet very aware of her
surroundings & non-judgemental of people's foibles.

I will talk to you, at any time, about any subject... but you have to
want to share or ask. If I feel like making the first move yet feel
resistance, I will leave you be. I'm curious, but I'm not stubborn;
some people give mixed messages, some are drama queens, some clueless
about relating & some are all of the above. I refuse to pull an
interaction out. This doesn't mean I don't care, just that I'm
emotionally tired & no time for games. I'm getting too old for teeth
pulling about knowing you. So if I back off & you actually want me
around, you need to get your head out of your ass & do something.

And if I ask you things & you don't respond, I will not ask again.
Asking a 2nd & 3rd time feels like I'm nagging or nosy, & if you
wanted me to know, you'd remember to tell me the first time. Not
sharing just eventually tells me I'm not important enough for you to
remember to tell, so you get the same treatment... I start forgetting
about you too. Don't wake me up to just walk away, especially without
an explanation. That's just mean & fucking rude. You are being
careless with my feelings & I'm not sticking around to give anymore
chances.

If you don't hear from me after a good while, I didn't stop speaking
to you, you pulled back & I had to readjust . . . and I absolutely
hate doing that, so know you have provoked my wrath instantly when you
slack off or disappear without a warning. I am willing to pick up the
slack, but if I try & you don't respond, I slow down & eventually
stop. I don't need a silent audience, I need & want someone willing to
engage me & there's no point in wasting words that don't feel heard.
You want to know how I'm doing, ask me.

And if you just don't care anymore, then just keep doing what you were
doing & leave me alone. I'll be disappointed, but I'll reluctantly go.
If you really knew me, genuinely listened & comprehended my words,
you'd know that. You don't have to poison the water --- neglect & the
silent treatment work just fine because I hate making a scene and you
are not worth the argument. If you go out of your way to be hurtful &
walk away with no explanation, stay gone. If I don't deserve closure,
you don't deserve a 2nd chance to be an ass again.