Back to You . . .

"The wind blows whichever way it chooses, and we can either go with the flow, or against it . . . always our choice."

Two acquaintances came into my life recently. One was a pleasant blast from my past, while the other was a refreshing invite into my present. Both I had hoped would stick around for a while. As months went by and I continued to enjoy their company, one of them instantly dropped off the grid as I tried to get closer (my past acquaintance opened the communication first) . . . and the other just got lazy with contact, no matter what I did, so I eventually did what came naturally to me . . . I pulled back & tried to figure out what happened.

I'm not a chaser; regardless of my relationship with you, friend or otherwise, you don't want to talk to me, interact with me, after a reasonable amount of time trying to get answers, I leave you where you are until you figure it out. I don't yell, I don't scream, I don't nag. I just leave. However, that doesn't mean I don't feel hurt or frustrated by inconsideration and insensitivity. When you choose to invite people into your life, you invite curiosity and questions. If you didn't really want to let them in, you shouldn't have opened the damned door . . . or walked out without saying a word.

In the past, actions like that would always rattle me for quite a while . . . but I noticed with these two, something changed. My way of dealing with that type of frustration had matured and leveled off; death and illness has a unique way of making you re-evaluate things . . . and after the past year of both, some things just don't really matter as much anymore. You remember time is precious and what you choose to do with it is what matters most. A friend's mother once told me, "You have every right to be mad, hurt, irritated, pissed off when someone does something to you, but they don't deserve any more than 24 hours. After a day, you are just wasting time on them and they don't deserve anymore of your energy than that." Staying irritated solves nothing.

I also realized that they are not worth my frustration if they choose not to "play" with me.

They do not have to accept what I am willing to give; I just have to remember to give it all back to me whenever they disappear.

More for me . . . I may be ready for intimacy, but it doesn't always mean they are. Their disappearance proves that immaturity.

Let it go when it leaves . . . so the space opens once again for the right one.

Go back to what you were doing before they showed up; it was probably all about you or friends or family or what moves you . . . switch the flow of feeling and attention back to who deserves it and can appreciate it most.

If they are meant to be there for the long haul, they will be back, hopefully better than you last saw them. And if they are not, their leaving when they did was a blessing . . . less drama for you to bounce back from. Win-win situation from my point of view.

Union . . . .

Who
Are
You?
I am the One . . .

The One that Was,
The One that Is,
The One that Will Be.

We are all the One . . .

We are One,
We are Life,
We are Love.

We are the Word made Flesh;
We are Spirit, Expressed.

We are Students,
We are Masters.
We are Everything
And
Anything We choose to Be.

I Am What I Am . . .
And that is the Light.

I am ready to be the
Grandest Version
of the
Greatest Vision
Ever held about
Who I Am.

I am Ready to Do
As You Wish . . .
Which is Ready to Do
As I Wish.

I Wish to Be Happy.

I Wish to Be Whole.

I Wish to Be Love, Personified.

I Wish to Just Be.


So Let It Be Written,
So Let It Be Done.

Namaste.

~S.A.~

Questions & Answers . . .

Point to ponder . . . Keep in mind that the person asking the question is feeling just as vulnerable (if no more so) as the one who maybe answering it. If asked, know there is a reason; what's trivial to you maybe important to me.

Moments To Love . . .

You know, I'm usually a pretty peaceful person, and there are very few things I hate. The one item at the top of that list though, is the phrase, "I was busy." I'd rather someone tell me the truth --- they were distracted or they just don't know how to manage their time well. "I was busy" is a copout to me. I did the math . . . 5 minutes out of a day will not damage the project you were working on.

If you could put someone other than yourself in the first 5 minutes of your day, just think of the smiles you'd create. Smiles are free . . . they pay for themselves with even more smiles, laughter, giggles . . .

Five minutes out of a day is a win-win situation . . . it's a moment of peace for you to de-stress . . . & a moment of joy for the other, to be remembered by someone who cares for them. It's also a conscous choice, like brushing your teeth or eating . . . how important are the people in your life to you?

There are 24 hours in a day . . . at 60 minutes an hour, that's 1,440 minutes. Now, realistically, not counting the average 6-8 hours we should be sleeping, we are left with 16 to 18 hours to do anything. In those 16-18 hours live 960 to 1,080 minutes.

Every sixty minutes affords you twelve 5-minute intervals. If you used every single 5-minute interval, that's 192 to 216 small opportunities to make someone smile in one day. If you just took 5 minutes out of every hour of a 16-hour day, that's only 80 minutes a day. Those 80 minutes adds up to 80 messages or 80 people . . . and all you really need to do is send just one . . . one message to one person.

The point is . . . 5 minutes to tell someone you were thinking of them . . . you miss them . . . you wish they were there with you . . . you love them . . . you wish for them a good day . . . will not wreck your day. It may actually make it much better than you could ever imagine. Something to think about the next time someone special crosses your mind. I will always have at least 5 minutes to give you; I am never too busy for the love of you. ;o)

Inspiration . . .

Young lovers seek perfection --
Old lovers learn
the art of sewing shreds together . . .

And of seeing beauty
in a multiplicty of patches.

~Maryana's Poem (from "How To Make an Amerucan Quilt")~




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"Finding Her Here" by Jayne Relaford Brown

I am becoming the woman I've wanted
grey at the temples, soft-bodied, delighted
cracked up by life,
with a laugh that's known bitter
but past it, got better,
who knows that whatever comes, she can outlast it.
I am becoming a deep weathered basket.

I am becoming the woman I've longed for,
the motherly lover with arms strong and tender,
the growing up daughter who blushes surprises.
I am becoming full moons and sunrises.

I am becoming this woman I've wanted
who knows she'll encompass
who knows she's sufficient
knows where she's going
and travels with passion,
who remembers she's precious
but knows she's not scarce
who knows she is plenty . . .
plenty to share.

======================


Love / by Roy Croft


I love you not only for what you are,
But for what I am when I am with you.

I love you, not only for what You have made of yourself,
But for what you are making of Me.

I love you for putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over all the foolish, weak things
That you can't help dimly seeing there.

And for drawing out into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you are helping me to make the lumber of my life
Not a tavern, but a temple.

Out of the works of my every day
Not a reproach, but a song.

I love you because you have done
More than any creed could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means,
After all.

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Me, Upfront & Personal . . .

I've never wanted things. Just connections. Connections seem to be a hard thing to come by these days, because people are too busy or too scared to try, but they seem to want it just the same. Effort needs to be made that no one finds the time to do. That saddens me sometimes, but it doesn't stop me from trying again and again. Just call me Don Quixote . . . .

I do my best to try to reach for what I want, but I'm not an overtly forward person; for a big girl, my reaches are delicate . . . so if you were expecting something more obvious, bold & brazen, I'm not the girl for you. You get quiet & sultry until I know you better. You get curiosity & cautiousness until I figure out what makes you tick. You get major points for not making assumptions about me, based on who you think you see. I am never the same person twice. Bonus points add up when you actually ask me something you really want to know; no question is trivial or worthless to me. I'm not crazy about people who "think" they know me; I am nothing like the last girl you were with. You have never met anyone like me. That is a fact.

I wrote this below for an ad that I plan to take down . . . I needed to practice putting myself out there, accepting both praise & rejection; I knew before I opened it that who I wait for, I wasn't going to find him there --- but I needed to be more comfortable being emotionally exposed again. An online ad will give you that, for sure. I really liked what I wrote about myself; it shows me how far I've come, healing the old hurts, patching up the cracked areas, sandpapering smooth the rough edges . . .

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I'm real. I'm patient, kind, sweet, funny, serious, sensual, lovable & logical. I'm a good woman & a nice person. I'm whole & I'm happy. I have a beautiful smile, twinkling eyes & a wicked sense of humor; I'm also a compassionate & truthful individual. I love to laugh & make people laugh. I'm quirky, obnoxious & sarcastic with a strong & tender soul, yet passionate & driven too. Those who know me best see these things. Little injustices hurt me most; simple things in life bring me joy. "If", "can't" are not in my life -- but "try" always is. I'm always open to new experiences & to meeting new people. My life is one big adventure; I refuse to have any regrets. Life is the school, love is always the lesson. Self-respect & honesty -- very important to me. I need a meeting of the minds on all levels: emotional understanding, spiritual growth and intellectual challenge. ISO a kind-hearted, adventure-loving, open-minded person with a great sense of humor, a zest for life & time to be friends. Someone expressive, talkative, humorous, deep, curious, spunky. I want a challenging, energetic, funny individual; someone who doesn't take life so seriously that he cannot laugh at himself, but takes it seriously enough to care about his fellow man as well as himself. Someone willing to share himself with me; to fearlessly take a leap of faith with me. I want a new friend to have some fun with, talk with & get to know better. Only time will tell what happens after that. The key to my last comment: I have watched the most beautiful relationship I know develop under the right conditions of friendship: commeraderie, humor, communication, love & respect. Someone with patience to be my friend, has the consistency to be my partner in life. I know it's possible. I want nothing less than that. Be the best person you can be, I'll be the best person I can be, & hopefully, we meet somewhere in the middle. Best of luck in your search.

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