Our Personal Rhythm . . .

The end of Sommore's skit in Queens of Comedy provoked this entry years ago . . . but a series of questions I've been asking a friend recently provoked my need to re-visit one of my favorite posts.
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The lights dim as the mood is being set. We wait patiently for it. As the music starts, we find the pulse & inhibitions get abandoned for one's inner beat. The Temptress slowly wakes up. The body feels it, feet & hips falls in line with it & the most sublime energy flows . . . we are not thinking anymore, just feeling & enjoying the ride. The Seductress smiles. Every woman has a rhythm that is hers & hers alone . . . & music reconnects us to the vixen within . . . . & we like it. Freedom. Release. Fun. Always fun.

Unabashesd sexual presence. It's not a phrase you hear very often, but we were having a road trip Q & A, and the question of the hour provoked us to tell each other what we saw in each other. My friend revealed seeing that in me. I wasn't shocked or offended, but amused & grateful for his vivid way of describing things. I knew I had "it" in me, I just didn't know I reflected it enough for someone to notice. When a man friend chooses to be honest to her about her beauty, it can be a beautiful thing to a woman. We sometimes need our egos stroked too. We are so conditioned to not express our sensuality . . . . a natural part of who we are, but it cannot help but show up when we choose to dance.

Most women love to dance. We know the power we have to attract attention, and dancing will definitely attract an audience. Most men like to watch women dance. Some are adventurous enough to join us out there without throwing off our beat; those men we send a sincere thank you to. We respect a man willing to show us what he can do. Silly or sensual, we commend you . . . because we see way too many guys standing off to the side watching. Jump in & keep up with us without throwing us off & you can stay as long as you like.

~K~

The little things, continued . . .

Men are very action oriented. Doing something will get their attention quicker & linger much longer in the memory than words. For most. The special men in my life are very verbose as well as action oriented, so there are exceptions to the rule.

When I've taken the time to be my brother's karate partner when he's demonstrating a move, or stay up late with him working on a term paper (I was his live-action spellcheck that he didn't always appreciate in the moment . . .), or be the one who keeps a caretaker's watchful eye on our parents so he can explore the world, I never have to wonder how much he appreciates me. It shows in the way he looks at me, in the bear hugs he gives me, in the respect he shows me.

The little important intangible things are just as important to men as to women. I had a friend chide me one day because I stopped asking him how his day was. I thought I was being a pest, but from his reaction, I guess I wasn't. We don't always know these things, guys. Sometimes you have to tell us when we are doing a good job . . . because we need the feedback. We are not always as confident as we sometimes look. There is a little girl in there, wanting to please, wanting to make you happy.

The actions may be important to you more, but the words are just as important to us. When you don't say, sometimes you leave us in the dark & doubt begins to set in. We don't want to doubt you, we want to understand you, be proud of you, show you the respect & attention you deserve too. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet & tell us what you want us to know about you. Just a thought . . .

~K~

The little things . . .

This was an old post, in two parts, from a page a friend & I used to write in, together. I was recently re-reading posts & felt the need to have them here.

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The little things . . .

One assumption is that women are more sentimental than men, but I truly beg to differ . . . we just talk about it more. I believe that everyone likes to be remembered & thought of & made to feel special. When I was a child, & didn't have an allowance yet, my brother & I would make simple gifts for our parents & each other. Majority of the time, I would write something heartfelt, my brother, on the otherhand, would make something. Bless his heart, even at such a young age, the heartfelt ideas he would come up with would amaze me . . . & they still do.

I remember a birthday where he gave me a chain with a nut (mind you, the chain was one of my own & to this day, I still don't know where he found that nut or what kind it is!). He had bored a hole in the nut ever so perfectly, spray painted it silver, threaded the chain through & wrote me a few words of love and encouragement. He didn't think it was much & wished it could've been so much more, but I thought it was priceless, the best gift he'd ever given me . . . he took the time to make something for someone he loved. To this day, I still have that gift in a special place & no matter how many more expensive gifts he's given me to date, his sentimental gifts are the ones I treasure every day of our relationship . . . especially the poem he wrote for me & recently recorded on my IPod.

I had another male friend just take my hand when I was hurting & confused . . . he didn't have to say a word. He just let me know he was there & that was enough for me. He didn't even know me that well, but he figured out how to reach my heart. Ladies, they may not always say it, but their actions speak volumes. Encourage their acts of kindness, gently. Don't critique it, just say thank you. There will be more creativity where that first came from if you learn to appreciate what is shown to you. Guys, on the other side of that thought, however you are able to show how you feel, please do not hold back. If you cannot say it, write it. If you cannot write it, make it. Gleaning from my friend's last commentary on size, when it comes to a gift, bigger is not always better. Small & sentimental go a lot further with a woman than big & expensive. You don't have to break the bank to show you care. Pay attention to what touches her heart.

~K~

She walks in beauty / Lord Byron

SHE walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light	5
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;	10
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,	15
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!